The Honey Badger Rides Again!

The Honey Badger doesn’t care! He’ll eat anything! He’ll fight anything! Honey Badgers are mean buggers! Fierce! Determined! Bull headed! Killers!

A couple years ago there was a video floating around on the net about Honey Badgers. It’s actually quite funny although the language is a bit acidic. But hey, I’ve heard sailors and Marines cuss so what’s the big deal, right?

Well guess what? There are Christian Honey Badgers as well. Not literally of course so if you take everything literally (especially in the Bible) then lighten up a bit.

We’ve all encountered Christian Honey Badgers from time to time.

You see Christian Honey Badgers have this incredible need to be right—about anything and everything. They measure your spiritually by whether you agree with them or not.

Christian Honey Badgers are great doctrine police. They are constantly checking you out to see if there are any holes in your belief system. They are relentless; they won’t give up until they are either proven right or you are proven wrong.

These human Honey Badgers are just as fierce as the real deal itself.

Christian Honey Badgers are lurking around every corner just waiting to engage you in a brutal debate over some fine point of Biblical interpretation, or theology, or how Christianity ought to respond to the so-called “cultural wars.”

I recall some years ago having my first encounter with a real live Christian Honey Badger.

This guy was as fierce a debater. He had all the answers and was immovable on any of his positions. He defended God like no other. He was one angry Honey Badger whose Christianity was all about being right! The word "Zealot" was a mild descriptor for this dude.

I will never forget the night he showed up at my door locked and loaded with a brand of Christianity and an image of God that would have made any real Honey Badger proud. He couldn’t wait to get into my house and attack me—and attack he did.

I was no match for him. I was an easy picking for this incredibly fierce defender of the Faith—his faith that is. I was not in this guy’s league for sure. It wasn’t that he was smarter than I am, but rather he was simply better at being a Honey Badger than I would ever be.

I suspected that he had attacked, chewed up, and spit out more unsuspecting Christians that one could count. I was just another notch in his Honey Badger belt.

I never saw that Honey Badger again after that night. I never really knew his name. He was just the Honey Badger to me. I also wish I hadn’t answered the doorbell that night.

Churches are full of Honey Badgers or I should say they have their fair share of them:

There are the protect-the-denomination-at-all-costs Honey Badgers, there are we’ve-never-done-it-that-way-before Honey Badgers, there are the worship-must-be-done-my-way Honey Badgers, there are the Bible-is-perfect Honey Badgers, there are the critique-the-sermon Honey Badgers, there are the traditional-music-only Honey Badgers, and of course there are the sexual purity Honey Badgers—you name it and there is a Honey Badger for it.

The Honey Badger makes the Church Lady look like Mother Teresa.

Here’s what you need to know about Christian Honey Badgers:

• You can’t win an argument with them so don’t try!

• They are not interested in listening to your point of view.

• They really don’t know it all yet they just think they do.

• They are really unhappy people (wouldn’t you be if you were a Honey badger?). 

• They want you to be as miserable as they are.

• They have a small and narrow comfort zone.

• They are joy killers.

• They want you to argue with them.

• They bite and it hurts.

So what do you do when a Honey Badger comes after you?

You run!!!!!!!

Really! It’s easier. Believe me. You can’t beat a Honey Badger.

Why would you want to in the first place?