Things I Wish Christians Would Stop Saying: "I want a celebration of life!"

Christians sometimes say things that put their pastors in a spot. For example, I cannot tell you how many times a family member of a deceased parent has said to me: “Pastor I want daddy’s funeral to be a celebration of life!” Or, “Pastor, please make momma’s funeral a happy occasion!”

Christian friend, you have no idea what kind of conundrum you have created for your pastor. Allow me to explain:

First, you are asking your pastor to turn your relative’s funeral or memorial service into a nothing more than a “feel good” happy event. Let’s have friends and family come to the podium and tell funny stories about your dad or mother. I mean, aren’t funerals supposed to be about a celebration of life! No, not altogether.

Second, you are asking your pastor to ignore the main reason why we have funerals or memorial services in the first place: Someone died! An untimely or unexpected death has occurred. Of course, we read in Hebrews 9:27 the following:

“And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment.” 

Death is a natural part of life. In fact, life and death are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other, so why do folks think a pastor should conduct a funeral without talking about death within the context of the Gospel?

But in the very next verse the author of Hebrews declares:

“So also Christ was offered once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him.”

It would be nigh impossible to talk about the Christian hope of resurrection without also talking about the reality of death. Does the topic of death frighten us? Perhaps! Does it cause us to be sad? For sure it does! 

But ask yourself: “Can I possibly talk about salvation and hope in Christ, who also died, without confronting the reality of death?” In other words, how do we get to Easter without going through Good Friday?

Your pastor should not only talk about death as being a fact of life, but he or she should also remind the congregation that resurrection awaits those whom God loves. 

This is the paradox of life and death. Death for sure makes us sad, it reminds us of our own mortality and encourages us to take our relationship with God seriously. But it also reminds us that death is the doorway into the life God has in store for us. It's the prelude to resurrection. 

So please dear Christian friend, please stop saying you want your relative’s funeral to be a celebration of life. Let’s celebrate both life and death as an opportunity to highlight our salvation in Jesus Christ and our hope of resurrection!